on the social construct we know as friendship.

I don’t think I believe in friendship.

It’s sort of a weird social construct to begin with, isn’t it? You go out into the world and find people you get along with or with whom you share interests and you decide to be around them. The more you’re around them, the more attached you get until sometimes it’s difficult to remember what your life was like before you happened upon that person. You begin to feel entitled to that person. You deserve to have that person in your life.

But the truth is, neither of you are under any sort of contractual obligations. Either of you can opt out any time you please. You can tell that person you don’t want to be around them as much. You might just start slowly edging them out. Maybe you’ll cut them off altogether. Or maybe they’ll edge you out. Maybe you’ll make them mad one day and they decide that you’re now longer worth being around. Maybe you’ll find that your attachment to that person is greater than their attachment to you. It may also be that through time and not being around each other as much, your attachment mutually fades to the point where you both think of the other fondly from time to time but your relationship is no longer relevant in either party’s life.

I don’t think I like that. There’s too much room for error and too much room for unnecessary angst. So, with that being said, it’s probably best to keep everyone at arm’s length. What’s the point in getting attached to someone who’s more than likely going to leave anyway?

 

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One response to “on the social construct we know as friendship.

  1. I identify with a lot of what you’re saying funny enough.However, I have found that if I approach it slightly differently, everything can be fantastically surprising. Firstly, friends are only friends if they don’t push you away (or you them) and there is always effort made between the two parties to meet and enjoy time together. Secondly, friends are worth the effort. When you find friends that you can be honest and open with, whom you can love and cry with, and that care for you, it’s like a beautiful song. A song that was written just for the two of you to live life by. Don’t give up on that. And thirdly, fellowship is important. We’re so much weaker on our own, compared to being part of a body of people. It’s like a support network, and a guidance system, and a mixing bowl of happiness and fun.

    Now I know that I’m probably describing the ideal situation, in fact I know that I am. But maybe one day you’ll find it. You’ll at least find part of it. I have. And so to answer your question – “What’s the point in getting attached to someone who’s more than likely going to leave anyway?”, well, maybe they’re not going to leave. And even if they do, yes it’s damn sore, but at least you’ve been real with them.

    Like

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